December 12, 2009

A Hug and a Requiem... The Christmas Edition

I don't usually use this forum to spread anything but laughs. Today though, it seems appropriate to share a little more than that. For those hoping for more tales of my ridiculousness, feel free to stop reading now. I promise not to be offended... too much...

I'm one of those people that has a hard time with the holidays. As a general rule, they serve to be reminders of things and of people that I have lost over the years. The holidays make my soul feel more old and tired than usual. And while the sad news of the past few weeks has not lightened this load, there is still enough beauty to be appreciated that I can send my own message of hope. I hope you will bare with me as I do so.

Last week was a particularly difficult one. While preparing for the intensity that is first semester law school exams, I was also dealing with some of those tragedies that seems to befall us more and more as we age. On a particularly cold night, after a long run at the gym, I gathered my things and left for my favorite coffee shop. Instead of going straight to the coffee shop, I decided to take a detour and look around The Cathedral of the Madeleine. I had passed the Cathedral dozens of times in my travels but had never made time to stop. I thought the solitude would be a good way to collect my thoughts on the week's events.

I was surprised to find the parking lot packed and the Cathedral chapel full of people milling about and talking. Frustrated, I was about to make my exit without whatever satisfaction I was hoping to get from a lonely Catholic cathedral. I was stopped though when I ran into an old family friend. She gave me a big hug and we chatted for a few minutes before I said as I always do, "I better get back to work." She gave me another hug and encouraged me to stay a few more minutes; to wait for the choir to come back out and finish the concert that I had stumbled on.

So I did... I sat alone in the back and watched the children's choir pile onto the risers in their white robes, looking nervous and uncomfortable; their backdrop, a dramatic display of gold and turquoise. I listened as they sang a cappella, a requiem. Their beautiful soprano voices filled the Cathedral all the way to ceiling. And for a few minutes, I closed my eyes and got to appreciate something beautiful and think only about that. With a hug and a requiem, I got to be better than okay for a few minutes and for that I am grateful.

I'm not one who believes in fate or even in people being led to what they need at a given moment by unseen forces. But I do believe those few minutes were a gift. I'm not going to try to explain it the way I saw it, I would rather you take what you need from the story whether that be a hug, a requiem, or both...

If you are struggling, I hope you find a reason to feel okay. If you are feeling okay, I hope you find a way to feel loved. And if you are feeling loved, I hope you find a way to share that... Merry Christmas family and friends, I am truly grateful for you all.

1 comment:

Princess and A BYU Fan said...

Why didn't I read this a long time ago? Anyway, it was a fabulous post and I'm glad you had a moment of peace.