May 21, 2008

Dating for Dummies


I will never forget the Christmas that my Dad added miniature copies of books to our stockings. I was supplied with a tiny version of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (yes, I got the hint.) Even better though were the tiny "Dating for Dummies" my Dad gave to both of my older siblings. There was much bitter laughter and my Dad's whole body shook with his inside giggle that we all so enjoy!

I was reminded of this incident recently as my boss, Brent, has been constantly bugging me for dating advice. Brent is recently divorced after spending several years attempting to bring his crazy wife to sobriety. With three children and over ten years out of the game, Brent is in dire need of assistance. I will admit though, I am not that proficient of a dater. In fact, I find my behavior in dating is uncharacteristically gender neutral, that is, I don't usually "act like a girl." This fact has left my quite confused and disturbed by the behavior of some of Brent's dates.

Still, he continues to ask me questions about dating daily! So... I am turning to the blog for help... Below I am listing rules that I am pretty dang sure about, but if you have any suggestions as to the inner-workings of dating, feel free to add them.

1. Never double-book. You should never go out on two dates in one evening or even one day. This goes for guys and girls. One of the dates will inevitably interfere with the other and leave you in awkwardness.

2. Holding hands is a cute step, no matter how old you are. The third or fourth date is usually ok to bust a move, but start small with holding hands.

3. Try not to talk about work too much. It's good to ask questions of your other date and if they ask questions about what you do, of course answer them. Otherwise, work details can be boring and make the conversation one-sided.

4. Casual is best. A lot of guys will try to over-play the first date in order to make a big impression. The truth is, good conversation over ice-cream or maybe dinner is better than go-karts, roller skating, skeet shooting, or anything else.

5. NO MOVIES ON FIRST DATES. This is one guys mess up on all the time. The whole purpose of the first date is to get to know the girl, how the hell are you supposed to do that with Johnny Depp in the room?

.... that's really all I got... no wonder I quit trying to date...

1 comment:

Just Us Girlies said...

Here are a few from the minds of Kristen and Alice:

- Don't eat food off of your date's plate. (I have a friend, who on a first date, was assulted with the statement "we are going to be late for the movie, so you need to eat faster." At that, he started helping her eat what was left on her plate...)

- Don't talk about your exes.

- Don't fart. Hold it in.

- If the date doesn't go well, don't send a dozen red roses, begging for another chance. (Yep, this happened to me.)

- Don't tell your date that you have received divine revelation that you should be married. (Even if you did.)

- BE ON TIME

- DON'T talk on your cell phone or text! Whatever it is (aside from a legitimate emergency) can wait. (With that said, talking/texting on your cell can be a good way to end a bad date!)

- Don't start any conversation with the following statements:
"This one time when I was really drunk..."
"One of my past cell-mates once told me..."
"I'm a lawyer..."