I promised to keep you all apprised of the wonderment of law school so I'm inviting you to join in the farcical world of a first year law student, lovingly referred to as, "The Eight-Four-One-Oh-Two." You will cry; you will laugh; you will gasp in bafflement; and much like the series 90210, you will be elated when the hot characters come back for a sequel fifteen years later.
But before I get ahead of myself, I would like to answer the question that everyone asks me, "how is law school?" with something more than my usual response of, "Uh, yeah, you know... I read a lot." To really answer that question I offer the following...
You might be a law student if...
...you spend 3-5 hours a day in class then 9-11 hours reading and typing... that's fourteen hours a day.
...you go everywhere with your laptop and backpack. I have started calling my laptop "woobie."
...you look like a slow moving turtle due to the high number and weight of your books. I am not embarrassed to admit, I have even considered one of those backpacks with wheels in an effort to prevent future lumbar fusions. In the meantime, walking up and down the hills on the U campus has developed a new muscle in my thigh that I didn't know existed... physiology meets torts liability?
...waking up at six is considered "sleeping in" by the third week of class.
...you joke about suing fellow students for stealing pens, intentional infliction of emotional distress through competition, etc. and think it's actually funny. Sigh... deep down I think we all know we aren't funny anymore.
...you dream about Ted Bundy because he went to the same law school. Creepy...
...you start out wondering why a majority of the faculty and 3Ls drink at every law school function. By the forth week you begin to see the justifications for why so many attorneys have substance abuse issues and have a greater appreciation for anxiety medication.
...the best part of your day is watching The History Channel at the gym for an hour... who knew Stalin built a tunnel system under Moscow; so prepared but still surprised when Hitler started bombing Moscow, what an idiot!
...you tell yourself during orientation week that you WILL NOT DATE fellow law students, particularly first years. Maybe it's the reading ruining eyesight or the fluorescent lighting in the Gibby (our study room) but some of those guys are starting to look good.
...speaking of fluorescent lighting, you start to look like a vampire from lack of sunlight. Maybe one of the 1Ls will start looking like Edward and my life will be complete.
...you are absolutely sure you saw Gary Oldman while you were walking to school this morning... I'm serious, it had to be him.
...and finally, you might be a law student if you make an inappropriate comment about your professor and turn around to find them standing behind you in line at the coffee kart.
So with that, welcome to the 841-oh-2! Stay tuned for the next installment which will introduce you to my favorite characters from my new life in the SLC!
Oh, and I can't forget to mention Sara, without whom the 841-oh-2 would never have become what it is!
3 comments:
I'm satlking you!!!! I just HAD to read this and i am particularly pleased that i did. What a spectacular summary of our (joint and identical) life so far as we embark on this terrifying journey... I look forward to more posts and i might want to contribute at some point. Should our club venture be some sort of a joke newspaper publication!??!?! Lets drink to that!
Wow, i can't even spell "stalking"... No wonder i struggle!
I love it! I can't wait for the next installment. You always keep me laughing ;)
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