The Bird Flu...

Sunday morning I woke to the woeful feeling my head slowly drifting away from my body, the clear sign of an oncoming sinus infection. Much to my dismay, the condition continued to worsen into a fever and cough that kept me away from work for two days. Yes, I, like so many others, have fallen victim to the ever prevalent influenza virus. While back at work, I am still walking around with what I affectionately call "bubble head," in a state much like being drunk (yes, I would know.)

Ironically enough, today our residence received a handy "No Flu 4 You" dry-erase board from the Idaho Health Department. This ever-important resource is divided into two sections of helpful hints, the first, how to "avoid seasonal flu" and second, how to "prepare for pandemic flu." Wait... pandemic flu? What the f***? Or at least that was my thought and should have been everyone else's thought who received one.

Turns out that our government has been secretly preparing to battle the inevitable mutation of bird flu into a human version that is expected to wipe out 40% of the human population. Sounds like a joke or an episode of the X-Files right? Nope. This is one of those serious "we are all going to die" things. Of course it might turn out to be ultra ironic and we will get blind-sided by some other random disease or massive loss of human life, while getting ready for the bird flu but I guess we can't be ready for everything. Personally, I'd rather be distracted by Mad Cow Disease and the Bird Flu then watch oil prices and wait for things to heat up in Iran... thank you Idaho State Health Department!

And if such an outbreak should occur, I shall be forever grateful for my "No Flu 4 You" dry-erase board that offers absolutely zero protection against such a pandemic aside from suggesting the obtainment of special surgical masks that are not even available in most places in the U.S. yet. Maybe I will use it to write my last words as the economy collapses and crime ravages our neighborhoods. Perhaps I will list the dead so as to preserve their memory. Then again, why would I want such important things on a dry-erase board?