For the past two weeks I have been nightly subjected to, via my dreams, a post-apocalyptic world of dark intrigue. These dreams may perhaps have originated from my somewhat disturbing interest in zombie movies, the beginning of a new regime of stimulants, or most likely a combination of the two. Regardless, I begin every night in a deserted Sam's Club (an excellent place to attempt to survive the inevitable post-apocalyptic challenges, might I add.)
While myself and the other survivors battle through the discomforts of food rationing, water storage, weapon collection, and the ever-present anxieties of changing leadership (usually by assassination of the previous) we are also always constantly leery of the un-dead. The irony of course is that while the human numbers dwindle as a result of discontent, the un-dead remain fairly stable. Indeed, there is little said of the benefits of the zombies and I wish, here, to enumerate some of those:
1. Zombie society truly accepts all individuals equally, regardless of race, religion, age, or ethnic background.
2. They make incredibly loyal companions and will follow you practically anywhere.
3. They never talk back.
4. Low maintenance boyfriends/girlfriends: they can live for decades without having to take them out shopping, to dinner, etc.
5. Big fans of the group hug.
6. Possible power source if put into a giant hamster wheel-like generator with bait (yes, this was part of a dream... hilarious...)
7. Easily disposable with fire.
8. Less STDs.
9. Less sharing of things with the zombies in general.
Feel free to add to my list with your own lovable zombie characteristics. With that, there is only one thing left to say.... zombie, will you be my Valentine?
2 comments:
High School would be so much easier if we were all zombies! Dances would probably look about the same, lines of people moving off the songs beat.
Thriller!
Post a Comment